My journey began when I went to Tsogo High School. At that time it was a privilege and an honour to be a pupil at Tsogo. It was an exceptional school that prided itself in their academic performance. It was renowned for its excellent academic performance of the grade 12s, for being a catholic school and for the discipline of it students.
I had not really decided what I wanted to do with my life post high school. All I knew was that I did not want to be poor. I did Mathematics, Accounting and Science, because at the time it seemed like the safest bet to be set for life. I enjoyed those subjects, and I knew I had an interest in Photography. There came a time when a decision had to be made so I can further my studies. I decided to go with Engineering because of the subjects I had chosen to study. It was not an informed decision I must say, I had assumed that that’s where the money was since there was and still is a need for Engineers in the country.
I started my tertiary education at Wits University ko Jozi maboneng . I was a sponge absorbing people’s tales about life away from parents and away from what is familiar. I started living my life according to the “do-not-do-list” that others had made. I kept out of trouble, no partying and far away from boys.
I did not have a balanced life. I got involved in ministry because I was concerned about my relationship with God. I learnt about God, it was fun but sometimes it was driven by guilt; guilt of not disappointing people that I considered as my brothers and sisters Friendships were made and my academics deteriorated regardless of the effort I put in. There were other personal things that were a distraction.
Electrical Engineering at Wits did not work out and I was frustrated because I had done what I was told not to do and I tried my best to get a degree. I was mad at myself for leaving without getting what I went there for, A BSc in Electrical Engineering. I started doubting my intelligence, thinking I am not smart enough. It was a tough time for me; I never anticipated that I will one day be in such a position.
I went back home to clear my head, I could not think of anything constructive because I had failed to meet my goals of getting a degree. I tried my luck at Pretoria tertiary institutions and everyone turned me down. I fell into a state of depression because nothing had worked out. I emotionally punished myself. I remember telling my mother that I had enough with Engineering and that I am quitting and going to study photography, she told me to finish the race I had started.
I stayed home for 6 months, doing things that brought me joy. I love music and dancing though I am neither a singer nor dancer, I love the outdoors and adventure. I started going out and meeting people, jumping off bridges (bungee jumping) and that helped me out of a slimy pit of pity that I had found myself in.
The months went by so quickly that before I knew it was second semester, my new break at a new tertiary institution- Tshwane University of Technology. It was indeed turning of a new leaf. I had listened to my mother and stayed in the race with a goal to finish regardless of any hardships I might come across. I registered for a National Diploma in Electrical Engineering and for a good time at tertiary.
I was not that shy girl who was constantly afraid. I smiled at strangers and that is how I made friends and got me some fans, so keep smiling. I was a crazy child so I was told, I did things that no one dared to do. I dressed and walked differently, and my hairdos were never your average. I was secretly called names, dope-head and some people thought I was lesbian and that I was crying for attention. I was affectionately called KB’zzle by my mates, eventually the K fell off (that is another story for another day).
I made great friends and managed to complete a National Diploma in Electrical Engineering. It was a bumpy ride, and thanks to the support of special people in my life, it became an adventure. The race was not yet complete; I still had some hurdles to jump. I decided that since my initial goal was to get a degree let me press on to that goal and get it.
I was blessed with an opportunity to join a Mobile network company as a Graduate Trainee; I did not let that get in the way of getting the BTech. I decided to take up school part-time so I can gain valuable experience and a BTech while paying my bills.
I have come to understand and know myself. I know now what I want, I have had the opportunities to screw my life up and also to carve it up nicely, and I chose the latter. I know in my heart of hearts I want to be a Photographer, though I have lots of other interests. One of the valuable things I have bought for myself is a SLR camera so I can nurture that Photographer in me. The job I have, which I enjoy, is helping me finance my dream.
My focus has shifted. I am no longer driven by the fear of being poor and the love of money but by finding joy. Getting time to play with my camera gives me goose bumps and joy. Lessons I have learnt: One should always live their lives and not the lives of others, you should cultivate yourself into the being you want to be. We were fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God…there is only one you, no other imitations…one should always make their life count.
My journey still continues…
Keabetswe- B’zzle – My Profile
-Class of 2002